STEP 1. COLLECT INFORMATION

Birth control, never simple or easy, is complicated incredibly by the erratic ovulations and unpatterned menses of the premenopausal and menopausal years. Remember your high school chums who unexpectedly had a little baby brother or sister? The biological imperative to reproduce doesn't die without a struggle. This article is for those who don't want to have a(nother) child.

STEP 2. ENGAGE THE ENERGY

• Barrier methods (diaphragms, cervical caps, and condoms) are good choices for menopausal women. But the spermicides used with them may provoke vaginal yeast infections, bladder infections, and dryness.
  
  
• Try an erotic massage instead of intercourse. Use a special lubricant, like coconut oil. Light candles; buy a bouquet of flowers. Take your time.

• Ejaculation control and withdrawal won't prevent conception for a woman in the fullness of her fertility, but it will for most menopausal women. And, it's a wonderful way to nourish intimacy in a relationship.
  
  
• Self-pleasuring is safe sex for menopausal women. Guaranteed to not result in pregnancy and promotes health, too! Let Betty Dodson help you with her self-loving books and tapes. Your mid-life mate may appreciate learning that sexual pleasure is more than penetration. Lesbianism and celibacy also work very well.

• Get him (and his testicles) in hot water. Sperm are easily killed at temperatures over 110F. If he sits in hot water for 15-25 minutes a day for six weeks, he will shoot blanks for at least three months. A vasectomy is even safer, and lasts longer.
  
  
• Women find a teaspoon of wild carrot seeds (Daucus carota or Queen Anne's Lace) eaten in food daily is an incredibly effective way to prevent pregnancy.

• Remove your IUD if it causes heavy menstrual periods or flooding, common menopausal problems which can be serious threats to your health.
  
  
• Sterilization and hysterectomy are extreme forms of birth control for menopausal women who will soon need no birth control of any kind.